The Third Man in Space

David Wesley Review Review: DW at OWS

2012-01-17T19:15:00.000-05:00

David Wesley Review Review: DW at OWS: Occupy Wall St. got a much needed boost today when international enigma and self-styled “extroverted recluse” David Wesley burst onto the...

In Memory of My Father: Jerome "Jerry" Bernstein 1943-2011

2011-07-04T11:32:00.021-04:00

How do we measure the greatness of a man? We measure it by the values, morals, and ethics he holds dear to him. We measure it by his successes, his failures, his kin. My father struggled his entire life chasing after his dreams. He taught me that you can do whatever you want in life just live it with family, dignity, honesty, and hard work. Family always came first for my dad. He believed that families should stick together through good times and bad.

He valued higher education, and set the bar really high for himself, almost tragically so. He wanted to be both a doctor and a lawyer. He studied medicine for five years in Belgium at the height of the Vietnam War. He was loyal to my mother in marriage. He enjoyed making super 8 home movies. He worked in jobs for years he didn’t like so he could support his family. He always stressed that you should be your own Boss. “Be your own Boss, and always call in sick!” He suffered from Diabetes and Clinical Depression and sometimes he had trouble controlling his anger, could turn on you during a bad mood swing, but he never forgot to apologize. I encouraged him to learn how to meditate to find inner peace. A few weeks ago, he cried to me and said, “ I want to see you get married and meet your future wife.” And I said, “I want to meet her also, but I thought you were crying because I don’t have a few million in my bank account yet.”

The poet John Donne said “Every death diminishes me.” My father was sensitive to other people’s misfortunate and would tear up while watching a sad news story on television, especially when children were involved.

His outlook on life was realistic, pessimistic, empathetic, joyful, hilarious, delusional, cynical, and brutally honest. He loved food. Chinese, Kosher, Zabars you name it. He loved Montreal, reading judaica books and comedy films. He would quote his favorite films constantly. He loved Mel Brooks films, especially Robin Hood: Men in Tights. He loved Home Alone, Midnight Run, and even though he had a low tolerance for stupidity with people, he loved the movie Dumb and Dumber. And although he never confirmed it to me, I think his favorite film was My Cousin Vinny. My dad also introduced me to obscure westerns like My Name is Nobody with Henry Fonda. He was an avid collector of LPs with western film soundtracks, Broadway musicals, and French artists in the mix.

My dad was a dedicated, conservative Jew and it was hard to argue with a guy that probably read the Codified Book of Jewish Law cover to cover. One time in high school, I smoked pot after synagogue on Rosh Hashanah with my girlfriend at the time and this overwhelming guilt washed over me. I asked him, “Is it a sin to smoke weed on Rosh Hashanah? And my dad looked down, sighed, and said “It is probably ranked high up on G-d’s list. “ And I said, “But it’s a HIGH Holiday, I thought that’s what you were supposed to do.” And he said, “Doesn’t matter. You started a fire. It’s a sin.”

He also had a childlike wonder and was intrigued by people. He would ask a lot of questions. He could also be very kind and generous and wasn’t a stranger to tzedakah (jewish charity). I remember one time after performing in a choral recital in grammer school, we stopped off to eat at the wonderful grease pit Dennys. There was a homeless man there. Dad paid for his meal and gave him ten dollars before he left.

He had eccentric business ideas, some of which were absurdly arbitrary. He asked me once to drive down with him to Arkansas to dig for gold. In 1999, when his pharmaceutical business Langer-Scott was up and running, I helped him find clientele and tried to sell Vitamin C to a Cranberry company in Wisconsin Rapids. Things didn’t go quite as planned and the sale never went through, but the experience became the inspiration for my first screenplay. He was a genius at creating character names and aliases and could have been the go-to-guy for any Hollywood screenwriter looking for a character name. Robert Manis, Jeffrey Bell, Ziffer Pike, Bill Searchman, and Sherman Birdsley were a few gems he created. My favorite, David Elgin Wesley, is my nom de plume, and I still use it today as a freelance writer.

He had a somewhat dark and quirky sense of humor. He once said, “people die at such inconvenient times.” He told me once, “If you ever get into trouble, check your self into a Holiday Inn.” I still don’t know what the hell that means, but it was funny and interesting the way he said it.

I’d like to thank all of the doctors and nurses at Mt. Sinai hospital that cared for him the last three months but since Dad was on every floor of the hospital with the exception of the maternity ward, I’d offer up some constructive criticism and say that communication skills between departments need improvement in regards to patient care. Dad must have said over 500 times that all he wanted to do was get the hell out of there and come home. I believe that if Moses were to chill out with some friends in New York City, have a few too many beers, and get sick, that he would not go to the top floor of Mt. Sinai hospital. He would hop in a cab and go to Lenox Hill.

I’m proud to have inherited my father’s relentless ambition. I had the chance to spend a lot of time with him this year, and we talked about family, careers, movies, politics. I expressed my political beliefs to him and he turned to my mother and said, “When did my son become such a commie liberal?” My dad and I shared a somewhat dangerous passion for gambling and we could talk for hours about gaming systems and the casino industry. He was also supportive of my artistic aspirations and I was happy he had the chance to see me up on stage performing a few folk songs I wrote.

It is widely known that the sins of the father pass onto the sons. Before he got really sick, he told me, he said “Son, your time is gonna come. You will fly by all of ‘em.” I’ll make you proud Dad by accomplishing my realistic dreams and as your great spirit traverses throughout the cosmos, no longer bound by time and space, I’d welcome you aboard the coming gravy train.

Memorial contributions can be made in Jerry’s memory to the American Diabetes Association (www.diabetes.org) or the National Alliance for Research on Schizophrenia and Depression (www.Narsad.org)

NYC Circa 2006 listed on Neil Young's website "Living with War Today"

2008-08-28T23:28:00.003-04:00

You can check out the protest song I wrote and created entirely on my own in Garage Band, or don't check it out. Its also for sale through my Snocap account on My Space for $0.99. To get there, go back to my website, click on Music, then click on the link which will take you to Ben Burn's website. Why the explanation? Because I'm too lazy to create a link as I'm writing this sentence.

10 percent of all proceeds will go to the Homes for Our Troops, a non-profit organization that builds specially built houses for disabled veterans. Please spread the word. Its for a good cause.

In other news,
I'm the laziest blogger in the blogosphere. Its hard work being lazy. Lets see, this summer, I have surfed, slept, played poker, have continued writing a spec screenplay adaptation of Dean Koontz novel "Lightning", worked one day as a background extra on Lipstick Jungle, spent a colossal waste of time online, went tubing, played more poker, lost money, then won the money back that I lost. Total waste of time. Spent time with my family, have hit on several women that lead to phone numbers but no dates, and just trying to stay happy in these troubled times.

I think Barack Obama's speech tonight at the DNC was a near masterpiece. This guy pulled out the punching bag on McCain and the incumbent criminal in the Oval Office right now. I never mention our current president's name because it makes me sick.

Top 10 Best Films of 2007

2007-12-22T03:14:00.000-05:00

1. No Country for Old Men
2. There Will Be Blood
3. Zodiac
4. Into the Wild
5. I'm Not There
6. Juno
7. Sicko
8. Once
9. Syndromes and a Century
10.Grindhouse

30th Birthday Party Explosion

2007-03-23T09:29:00.000-04:00

I'll be showing some short films and a portion of the epic work in progress "Auteurvision" at the Pioneer Theater, Sat. Mar 24th at 6 PM.

Come one, come all. This muthafucka is trying to get on Filmmaker Magazines top 25 list.

The Meltdown of Stan Hurwitz--short story

2007-02-12T19:43:00.000-05:00

"The Meltdown of Stan Hurwitz"

Synopsis: Several weeks after his son's death, a world famous poker player flips out at the
final table of the World Series.

(The characters created are completely fictional. the story is not autobiographical.)

Stan Hurwitz looked down at the felt, his thoughts racing and that inner voice mumbling incoherently.

"What is he holding? Jack of Diamonds, Queen of Hearts, Ace of Spades, maybe he's got junk, 7-2 offsuit. "

Besides the occasional bullshit at the table about a hand, loneliness consumed him, even when contemplating his next decision. He felt green. An idiot. Like he had never played before, and that sinking sadness crept all over him. When the tournament was over, he would head back to Annie as a millionaire husband, hoping the luxury of their newfound wealth could possibly ease the pain from Kyle's death. Maybe just a little bit. A few weeks ago, Annie mentioned wanting another baby, and Stan realized it was time to be monogamous. But Stan found his addictions more pleasurable, and enjoyed the company of whores after tournaments. Fatherhood was hard, harder than any problem he had tackled in life.

***

Smiling, he remembered when Kyle first met Sandra, his babysitter.

"I'm Hurwitz kid." He said to her like a mini-professor. Kyle was highly developed for a 5 year old, with an immense vocabulary. The family doctor diagnosed him with Asperger's Syndrome, and he would drift in and out of his own inner world. He loved video games, Dungeons and Dragons, Trivial Pursuit, performing magic tricks, and reading books.

***

Several weeks earlier, upon returning from a tournament in Australia, Stan was stunned to see an ambulance, a fire truck, and several news vans parked down the street from his modest colonial home in northern Las Vegas, several miles from the strip.

The flashing red lights from the fire trucks started to make Stan nauseous, he felt faint and noticed part of Kyle's foot was uncovered devoid of life and movement, and he was wearing blue pants. "In his pajamas?" Stan wondered.

Sergeant McKinley, a 6'4" African American, with tightly groomed hair and a hard ironed uniform scribbles some notes on a small white pad.
"Mr. Hurwitz, I'm sorry."
"Right."
"Did your son ever talk about hurting himself"?
"My only son…What…No."
"I know this is a rough time, but I need you to identify his body."
"My wife and I would like some privacy."
"C'mon, get these news vans out of here."

McKinley uncovered the white sheet.

"Is this him?"
"Yeah."

Sobbing, Stan covered his eyes. Kyle was wearing his Superman outfit. He jumped off the roof, probably thinking he could fly.

"Did your son talk much?"

"He'd spend a lot of time alone."

"Why do you ask?"

"Was he ever diagnosed with autism?"

"Our doctor believed he had a mild case..please finish what you need to do, and leave us alone."

"I understand, sir."

At the end of the driveway, Jill Johnson was covering the news story of Kyle's death. She was the anchorwoman from Las Vegas local channel 5 WBTV.

"A terrible tragedy tonight for world famous poker player Stan Hurwitz. Apparently, earlier today, the Hurwitz's only child Kyle jumped from their roof in an apparent suicide. The child was only five years old."

Stan secretly masturbated while watching her on her 11:30 news shift while his wife was sleeping, and every day, his growing lust for her became irresistible. One drunken night, after losing $30,000, he spontaneously drove to the television station, and wanted to ask her to grab a drink.. He lit a cigarette and took a hard drag. The purring engine of his Porsche 911 seemed to soothe his troubled mind.

"An affair is what she would want," He thought outloud.

Things were bad at home. He hadn't had sex with Annie in several weeks. She was moody, cold and distant, but he didn't mind it very much. It freed him up. He even remarked to his friends that for some odd reason, his golf game was better when he and his wife spoke less often.

He arrived at the station and parked. Jill was outside smoking a cigarette, laughing with her co-anchor. Stan remained in his car, staring at her, immovable. He could give her shopping money. She was probably wild in bed, he thought, and he imagined grabbing her breasts when she rode on top of him. She put out her cigarette and walked back into the station. Several minutes later, he drove home and crept into bed, spooning up to Annie.

***

Mike Smith, a long-time ESPN employee, stands confidently near the table.

"Ladies, bring out the money."

Two beautiful brunettes, in short skirts, and cut off tops, their breasts bulging out from their "Binion Casino" emblazoned cocktail uniforms, casually drop twelve million onto the table. Stan had a commanding chip lead, beating out 8000 other hopeful wannabes over four days to get this far, but it wasn't enough. Second place was second place. He needed to win and lusted after that World Series bracelet, as if he was caught in some long-winded fever dream. It would prove why he'd been away from home for weeks at a time. Perhaps if he had been home that dreadful day, playing online, far away from a brick and mortar casino, Kyle would still be alive, playing with his Tonka trucks in the backyard. That hurt him more than his death, more than the pulsing pain from his sprained ankle when he stumbled over with grief and guilt at Kyle's funeral.

Stan felt disoriented with the camera close to him. He had to block everything out, back in "Reality Ville", concentrating, staring at Jack "Bulldog" Jacobivitz through his Aviator sunglasses, he was at war, contemplating his next action. He widened his eyes, perhaps it would help him see into The Bulldog's soul, who was a mysterious player, impossible to read. Stan couldn't put him on a hand. Ace King, maybe. Preflop, he raised three times the big blind. Stan looked at his cards again--Ace-3 of diamonds.

The board comes out Ace of clubs, King of Diamonds, Jack of Hearts.

The Bulldog aggressively bets out $15,000. Stan gazes over his chips.

" Raise to $40." The audience claps. Some young girls scream, and for a brief moment, Stan wondered if some of them were die-hard fans. Jack quickly calls.

The turn comes Nine of Diamonds.

Only one more diamond and he would make his flush, and he would ride this glorious wave toward a new beginning. He kept dreaming. They would buy a beach house in Hawaii. Annie always wanted a small business, her own clothing line, and Stan could start collecting expensive Spanish wines, and finally build a mahogany bar in their new den room, uninterrupted, at peace, with the crashing waves at Kehena beach soothing their painful loss. Summer arrived, and they would throw a July 4th party and Stan easily pictured it in his mind. He imagined the Rolling Stones blasting out of Annie's 80GB Video Ipod, and how the music seemed to inject a relaxed mood into everybody.

Excitedly, "The Bulldog" jumped up and down, and obnoxiously entered Stan's personal space, confirming the widely held accounts in the poker world that he was a gifted but eccentric player.

"Play, ya loser. Come on, I take you on. I beat you. You'll see, on the river."

He slapped Stan's cheek lightly, but it was enough to give him a slight sting since he shaved that morning. He was trying to get Stan to talk.

"I know how to play the game baby. I will take you down." Jack said.

"You can't have a hand every time."

Jack sat back down. A minute passed. Jack calls "ALL-IN" on the turn. Stan calls.

Would this river be a dream or a nightmare? Stan's heart fluttered. His emotions sometimes got the best of him. They would swirl and tap dance beside him.

At the river, King of Hearts reveals its ugly head to Stan.

Jack flips over Ace-King unsuited. It was over. That obnoxious Russian ogre won, he thought. Even though he was $7 million dollars richer, Stan's blood boiled. He slammed his right fist on the felt, grabbed his end of the table and overturned it. He screamed. The ladies looked on in horror as Stan charged Jack, punching him in the nose.

"You broke my fuckin' nose."

"I needed to win....for him."

"You crazy fuck. Ya need Prozac. You're still a millionaire. See you in court."

The audience, sitting in darkness, stunningly rise to their feet. Security rushes him, pinning him to the ground. As the flash photography temporarily blinded him, he swore he saw Jill preparing to report this story, with Annie right beside her.

Copyright 2007

**any filmmaker, feel free to contact me if you'd like to adapt this into a short film. option is $5000 (just kidding) and you'll get to show the world that you directed a short film that was written by Wyatt Ben Bernstein.****

Who will be the 3rd racist celebrity????

2006-12-01T12:03:00.001-05:00

In the news....

I'm a numbers man. I believe things happen in threes. That being said, who's next?? We now know that Mel Gibson hates Jews, Michael Richards may or may not hate Blacks, well who's next?

Call the newspapers---Donald Trump has just announced that he hates himself. No, please, say it aint so.

Yeah, I use my Middle Name. I dont Care if you Think its Pretentious

2006-11-06T16:08:00.000-05:00

Hi, remember me??? Yeah, well, I know you've all been hanging onto to my every word and waiting for my next blog post. This is some street in Cincinatti, Ohio that bears part of my name, "Ben Bernstein" You know, that incredible visionary who has left this great planet.

I'm still here, although there are times that I feel like a spaceman looking down on everybody. Do u know the feeling? Its similar to smoking 5 blunts and then watching the "Qatsi" trilogy on repeat and still be intrigued that there is no dialogue or story. I've been there once and i never plan on going there again.

See the guy in the photo. Well, I might look like him in ten years if I keep eating pizza burgers and quesadillas at an alarming rate.

This picture also made me ponder whether its considered "pretentious" to use your middle name in show business.
I think its cool, even though some people think its a load of crap. It makes you stand out from the endless pack of wannabees trying to break into this competitive business.

What is cheap heroism?

2006-08-02T10:51:00.000-04:00

Cheap Heroism is always easy, and even to sacrifice life is easy to; because it is only a case of hot blood and an overflow of energy, and there is such a longing for what is beautiful! No, take the deed of heroism that is laborious, obscure, without noise or flourish, slandered, in which there is a great deal of sacrifice and not one grain of glory---in which you, a splendid man, are made to look like a scoundrel before every one, though you might be the most honest man in the world---you try that sort of heroism and you'll soon give it up!
--Fyodor Dostoevsky

Scanner Darkly Remix

2006-05-25T14:11:00.000-04:00

Quote of the day:

It is well to remember that the entire population of the universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
--John Andrew Holmes

As my addiction to trailer remix contests continue, the latest project from 327 Films will be a remix of Richard Linklater's A Scanner Darkly. It will be up at Jumpstart.com. With the comic auteur touch of The WB, it could win me some crappy prizes.

The Film of Tomorrow

2006-04-24T14:54:00.000-04:00

I lifted this quote from Caveh Zahed's blog (director of I Am A Sex Addict), and it truly reaffirms why I'm doing what I'm doing. Whenever I get depressed that I'm going deeper in debt or lose faith, I'll read this quote again. I didn't choose filmmaking, filmmaking chose me.

"The film of tomorrow appears to me as even more personal than an individual and autobiographical novel, like a confession, or a diary. The young filmmakers will express themselves in the first person and will relate what has happened to them. It may be the story of their first love or their most recent; of their political awakening; the story of a trip, a sickness, their military service, their marriage, their last vacation...and it will be enjoyable because it will be true, and new...The film of tomorrow will not be directed by civil servants of the camera, but by artists for whom shooting a film constitutes a wonderful and thrilling adventure. The film of tomorrow will resemble the person who made it, and the number of spectators will be proportional to the number of friends the director has. The film of tomorrow will be an act of love."

- Francois Truffaut
Arts magazine, May 1957

327 Films to produce Converse commercial

2006-01-13T12:44:00.000-05:00

327 Films will head into production next week, creating a 24 second commercial for Converse sneaker.

327 Films founder Wyatt Ben Bernstein comments, "I'm delighted to take on my second spec commercial which hopefully will take my career to the next level. I have over 800ft.of Super 8 home movies that NYC's Pac Lab just telecined, and I'm confident that I can create a personal spot that will resonate with viewers who have adored their Chuck Taylors all these years. I miss those ol' Chuck Taylors. They are probably collecting dust in my parent's attic."

For more information, visit www.conversegallery.com

Breaking News: The documentary has been renamed

2005-12-12T12:45:00.000-05:00

Its been awhile updating this blog. I guess I'm not a real blogger after all. Besides, who the hell is actually interested in the boring daily lives of some hipster wannabes? What do they do anyway? wake up, moan and bitch about not having health insurance, and then castrate the system that chains them. Why am i so angry?

the working title of my existential documentary has been changed. It is now titled "Auteurvision"

The buzz continues to build within the synapses of my own brain.

The Top 10 CDs you should get by Any Means Necessary (in case anybody cares!)

2005-10-30T23:39:00.000-05:00

Entertainment Weekly lets "IT List" actors, filmmakers etc. concoct their own music list in case anybody in bumblefuck USA gives a rat's ass about their pretentious picks. Noah Baumbach (The Squid and the Whale) was recently featured, as well as Sofia Coppola and Jason Lee. Since I'm on the celebrity Z-list, EW editors would probably laugh their asses off if I called asking to be featured.

EW: Who the hell are you? You're not famous.
WBB: Correct! I'm a cult figure in my own mind.

I'm not going to sit around and wait for the magazine to give me permission. Here are my picks, in all their glory.

1. Pink Floyd Animals
The most underrated album in rock n’ roll history. I’ve listened to it over a 1000 times. It puts me in a trance. I love the rippin' guitar solo in DOGS as well as the last 10 lines in that song, which I refer to as the "equivalent mantra" Is that scary?

2. Bob Dylan Live at Royal Albert Hall 1966
There are levels of "genius" and the word is thrown around too much these days. Dylan's uncompromising decision to electrify folk music was groundbreaking, and his genius is justified.

3. Grateful Dead Live 5/8/77
There is so much collaborative magic happening here that its almost incomprehensible. You'll want to shake your booty when Dancing in the Streets starts.

4. Led Zeppelin BBC Sessions
You know a band has sold their soul to the devil when playing "live" sounds better than any studio album.

5. Paul Simon Live Rhymin’
"The Boxer" and "Duncan" are elevated by a Zamfir-like pan flute. Not to be missed! Plus, Paul Simon has a great one-liner when someone in the audience says "Say a few words!" He responds, "Well,lets hope that we all continue to live". Cheers. It made me smile on a rainy day.

6. Bob Dylan Blood On the Tracks
A masterpiece! The pain caused from Dylan's divorce from Sara Lownes is successfully channeled into this stunning work of art. When an ex-girlfriend broke up with me, I tried to write a few songs hoping that I could turn my pain into art. It didn't work.

7. The Verve Urban Hymns
Just when you thought Prog Rock was dead, along came this album.

8. James Laid
Notice all the British bands on this list. I think I was British in a past life. Every song is amazing. "Poker face carved in stone/almost friends but all alone/Why do you hide?" Its part of the soundtrack to my life.

9. Dire Straits Communiqué
I greatly admire Mark Knopfler's unique guitar style. His riffs are timeless. I always imagine kicking ass in an old-style gunfight when I hear "Once Upon a Time in the West"

10. Mazzy Starr So Tonight I Might Not See
Dreamy and intoxicating. Hope Sandoval is a goddess. Her voice haunts my dreams. She's been my fantasy muse for years. Check out the track "Unreflected." I hope to use it in my 3rd feature.

Like the amplifier in Spinal Tap, this list goes to 11.

11. Fleetwood Mac Rumors
Romantic breakups and meltdowns really do create masterpieces.

Die! Rocky Die!

2005-10-18T15:08:00.000-04:00

Sylvester Stallone announced that he will be getting back in the ring for Rocky 6. Rocky fans are really excited for this movie, but said they would only pay $10 to see Rocky die.

What's next?

Rocky 900----In the distant future, Rocky, now living in a nursing home suffering from dementia ingests 7000 milligrams of viagra. He starts punching everybody in the head with his rock hard cock, screaming "I am the Mustard Man" And thats only the beginning.

Which Hollywood executive is ready to greenlight this incredible pitch?

The "High Holidays" --Why am I the only Pot Smoker in my Family?

2005-10-07T13:29:00.000-04:00

The "high holidays" are a time for spiritual reflection and asking the lord for forgiveness and repentence for all the name calling and back-stabbing you've done all year round. Yes, we all do it. How many times have you talked about your friends and family? Its a reaccuring theme in my life.

This year, I got to witness my father succumb to a fascinating meltdown. He started crying feverishly over my brother's boring in-laws and how much they are boring him to death. I was totally fascinated at how disturbed my father gets over the actions of other people. Why does he care so much? Why does it affect him emotionally?

Then he mentioned how sad he was over the death of Nipsey Russell. Next year, I need to convince him to smoke a joint on Rosh Hashanah. I think it would calm him down a bit.

Peace till the next adventure.

Goodbye Mr. Wise

2005-09-26T12:19:00.000-04:00

Robert Wise, legendary film director of The Day the Earth Stood Still, West Side Story and the editor of Citizen Kane died at the age of 91 last week. I had the distinct honor of meeting Mr. Wise at a Los Angeles film workshop in 1996. He agreed to make a cameo appearance in my forthcoming documentary "Maverick in Disguise"

Although many industry insiders claim that Mr. Wise didn't have a signature style, he was a chameleon, directing films in many genres--horror (The Haunting), sci-fi (Star Trek: The Motion Picture), musicals, dramas, and comedies.

Breaking Rules again...The WB didn't take the Culture Survey

2005-09-22T15:47:00.000-04:00

The Human Resources department had a meeting with our department today about some culture survey that I didn't even bother to fill out or hand into my supervisors. I went for the FREE PIZZA.

HR Rep: How long have you been employed here?
WB: Ugh..almost a year.
HR Rep: You should have gotten an email.
WB: Yeah, um...right.
HR Rep: Are you casual-ongoing or casual limited?
WB: I think...
Other employee: We have no termination date for him.
HR Rep: Oh, so you're casual on-going. Well, you should have filled one in.

Hey buddy, I dont get health benefits. I just dont fit in. Its like I'm in a fog walkin' around this place. Part of me wants to quit and just freelance again but that will lead to more anxiety about the next paycheck. I've gotta kick myself into gear and finish my documentary. I'm stallin'. Its too self-indulgent. (Get over that and just finish it).

I remained very quiet for the rest of the meeting, listening to this corporate mumbo-jumbo.
One of the questions---Do you support those employees that take calculated risks?

Hmm..what kind of risks are we talking about? Maybe I should be walking on a tightrope on top of the building. Thats risky. I could fall and seriously hurt myself, jeopardizing my health. Maybe I should run a poker room in the office. That can be considered a "calculated risk" Many questions were about communication and how we felt about the level of communication between our department and the rest of the company. Well, I never even met this HR rep until about 10 minutes ago. So, I dont think they've been doing a good job of communicating.

Another question was "How speedy is everbody?" Well, I've been runnin' around the office lately. I dont really do anything. Just run. Sometimes I trot. Sometimes I play a flute like the Pied Piper of Hamlin, and all these strange people in cubicles follow me to the vending machines. Weird?

Another question was about "diversity" How diverse is the department? MB (initials instead of real names) said "We have the most diversity of any department. Every race, color, creed, sexual orientation.

MM said: We don't have a midget.
HR rep: You mean little people.

Human resource employees = self-important politically correct mediocre automatons.
Ok, that might be a little harsh, but at least its not beatin'around the bush. At the close of the meeting...

HR rep: We're starting a mentoring program and we'd love for you to join.
WB: Sure. I could assist new employees on how to be a "working slacker"

My latest short film "The Hurleyville Horror" is done. Its an improvised psychological dramedy about a self-absorbed woman who thinks she sees a musician who created suicide at her friend's country house. Think John Cassavetes with a touch of David Lynch dream logic and the isolation of an Ingmar Bergman movie. I think its either brilliant or an incoherent mess. Not sure yet. Haven't made a final decision about it.

Watch these Avant-Garde Masterpieces----In the Mood for Love and 2046

2005-09-13T12:00:00.000-04:00

Wong Kar Wai is one of the few international filmmakers willing to take risks. In the Mood for Love chronicles the relationship of two lost souls who believe their spouses are cheating on them. However, we never actually see the cheating spouses. WKW's camera captures the haunting stares of Tony Leung and Maggie Cheung set to an incredible score that will probably be in my head for days. Luscious cinematography---arthouse cinema at its best. 2046 follows Tony Leung's character further as he uses and discards many women in a hotel room. Zhang Ziyi deserves an Oscar for her dynamite portrayal as a tender-hearted hooker. If you're a fan of arthouse cinema and dont need to be spoon fed a cliched Hollywood plot, check out these two films back to back. You will be mesmerized, intrigued, and haunted by its sad meditation on love and loss.

The Cyclone Rules!

2005-08-22T16:04:00.000-04:00

I recently rode the Cyclone with my girlfriend and found it to be one of the most exhilirating roller coasters ever and this is coming from a roller-coaster aficionado. Its thrilling, scary as hell, especially that first drop. Its alot better than alot of the newer roller coasters at Great Adventure. Anyway, I'm babbling and this is probably not interesting so...sign off for another month. No, not really,

New News ! New News! Do people actually read other people's blogs or are bloggers just self-absorbed narcissists concerned with their own posts and their own lives.

My website will be launched in less than a month.

New joke: I hate it when you tell people you’re a comedian and they say, “Tell me a joke” A stage is a comedian’s office. When he’s offstage, he’s out of the office. Guy says to me "Tell me a joke." Ok, but first, you see that doctor sitting in the coffee shop. Go ask him to give you a prostate exam.

Bush Administration prefers finding Little Green Men instead of giving you Health Benefits

2005-07-22T15:15:00.000-04:00

Hey, i'm all for space travel. But right now..hmmm...this just irks me to the bone. In a time when "Generation Debt" is struggling to pay their bills, the House of Representatives passed the bill to give NASA 34.7 Billion dollars to get to the moon by 2020 and Mars sometime thereafter (383-15, it now moves to the Senate).

This is just another example of how the lower-middle class gets fucked in the ass. My yearly out of pocket expenses for prescription drugs and crappy HMO take a big chunk out of my yearly income, which isn't much.

If NASA and politicians have such "hard-ons" for going back into space, why dont they just smoke a joint, throw on Pink Floyd, and head to an IMAX space film. That experience is a lot cheaper and a hell of alot more fun.

Do people at Sex Addicts Anonymous meetings just wanna fuck each other?

2005-07-19T16:46:00.000-04:00

Just a crazy thought I had here sitting at my desk where this mediocre desk job sucks my soul dry.

Its been a stellar week. On Wednesday, I worked the room at the Machine concert like a true hustler, handing out flyers about DOGS. Roger Waters will be in town next Monday to promote his new opera CA IRA, and I'm hoping I can score some tickets through Q104.3 so I can finally meet my hero and give him a DVD of the DOGS trailer. Its about time. "Is it just a crazy dream?"

Last night, I performed my stand up routine at the Underground Lounge on 109th and Broadway. It was my first time back on stage in over six months and I have to say, my confidence has been renewed. The comedy bug is back a bit, but my main concentration is still on filmmaking.

A few one liners i recently wrote: My credit card debt is like the Energizer Bunny when he gets an erection. it keeps growing and growing and growing...and growing. I said it 37 times. It got laughs. Just kidding, thats mental.

My website launch is targeted for the beginning of september.

Peace.

Which one's Pink?

2005-07-06T12:10:00.000-04:00

The question that has plagued Pink Floyd fans for years and stirred numerous arguments. I guess today, it doesn't really matter. Although this fan believes Roger is the creative genius behind the band (he tops the list of my heroes, Dylan being a close 2nd, and Kubrick the 3rd), neither Waters or Gilmour are better than when they are playing together, a true testament to the power of the collaborative process. I almost cried seeing my favorite band reunite after 25 years, and strangely, it felt sad.
This is part of the rap I wrote over the instrumental part of DOGS.

"Could this be the band to warrant a wannabe?"
You mean, Would Roger Waters wanna warrant a wannabe?
You gotta be crazy to do something like that.
DOGS--Its when the S turns to Z so keep punching the keys until you breed a story in the key of 3.

Tavern on the Green, a Wedding, and a higher credit card balance!!!

2005-06-22T14:35:00.000-04:00

Aaaah, its good to be back folks, even though I'm proving to be a slacker blogger as well. This weekend should be incredibly enjoyable and expensive. Its restaurant week in NY and my beautiful,gorgeous Latina girlfriend has made dinner reservations for us at Tavern on the Green. "Hey, little doggie, good little pooch, how about a milk bone" Ghostbusters, anyone? My wallet will be screaming at me. But, hey, its priced-fixed so it won't be that bad.

Sunday, my second friend from college will be taking the plunge into the dark, frightning world known as "Marriage" I better kick my career into high gear. 2nd season Apprentice reject Stacy Rotner will be in the car on our way to the wedding. That should be an amusing ride. I should warn her though, I used to be a duck tape salesman. Hopefully, her banter won't be too tiresome.

July 13th I'm heading to my favorite Jersey shore haunt "Surf Club" Pink Floyd tribute band The Machine will be playing. Can't wait. Nothing satisfies me more than hearing Pink Floyd at the Jersey shore while the sun becomes eclipsed by the moon. I'll be giving them a DVD copy of the DOGS trailer just to start the buzz going. Now that is early BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. I haven't even shot the movie yet or found an investor. And the script still needs alot of work!! Its been 4 years since I started developing this project. Talk about a slow-poke. Its like I'm lost in this Kubrickian maze trying to make it as original as possible. Next month I'm entering the Screenwriter's challenge for the New York City Movie Making Madness Film Festival.

I got my $4 rebate check in the mail from Maxell after buying some Mini-DV tapes. Wow, rebate dreams really do come true ! There's this great quote I read in Kahlil Gilbran's The Prophet about the artist's struggle. I cant find it admist all the junk in my George Kostanza--like wallet. More film news coming soon kiddies..

Active Disengagement: Make the Corporate World Work for You

2005-06-16T14:19:00.000-04:00

I do nothing at my day job. Hardly lift a finger and when I do lift a finger, I do it very, berrry slowllllly. So sllllloooooooowwwwwwwwwlllllllyyyyyyyyyy. I never ask my co-workers if they need help with anything and only work when assignments are given to me. Its a technique called active disengagement and IT WORKS. I have a casual position as a production assistant for a major, big time entertainment corporation. (I wont name it in fear of losing my job plus my tendency to bad-mouth sometimes gets me in trouble.) I dont get benefits but i get paid a decent hourly rate that still allows me to live in a big room in Upper Manhattan with a depressed, over the hill Bosnian roommate who smokes herself silly and watches way too much television. She's hot for her age but a royal bitch so I never made a move on her. I'm using the word "I" too much and should change it to the royal "we" if I (shit!) want to form lasting relationships in the film industry. Golly, gee, it is a collaborative medium right? except maybe not to Roman Polanski, he totally believes 100% in the auteur theory. Gotta love the French!

If you're a highly creative person like myself, my advice is to take a job where you have little responsibility. Fuel your creative passion and eventually, it will pay off. I still believe this even though most of my creative endeavors end up failing in the mainstream marketplace. Hell, I can't even get my work accepted into underground film festivals. What does that tell you? Either I'm a talentless hack or the market is more saturated than a Catholic virgin princess who has decided to go all the way!! Sometimes I feel that my work is too avant-garde for the mainstream and too mainstream for the avant-garde. That leaves me in a dark abyss where I'm forced to watch Renny Harlin movies on repeat. Why are his movies so damn awful?

My life is somewhat schizophrenic. By day, I work in book publishing basically faxing, filing, and sending packages out. I'm at my desk about six hours a day and do about a half-hour's worth of work. And you know what, I love it because its STRESS FREE so at night, I'm a creative Robo-sex machine----editing my experimental autobiographical documentary "Maverick in Disguise", writing anti-establishment songs, playing guitar (trying to jam with my friends but end up singing instead because my guitar playing is nowhere near the perfection of my friends yet) indulging in my delusions, writing, writing, writing and then treating myself to a sit n' go poker tournament or throwing on the latest Netflix DVD. Just joined, and man, they are awesome.

My friend George Estreich, a brilliant graphic designer, has been helping me build my website and business cards. A couple photos will be up soon.

PINK FLOYD REUNION--A Surreal Event

2005-06-14T19:20:00.000-04:00

Who thought it would be possible? But its happening and yours truly is trying to get to Hyde Park by July 2nd.