Sunday, October 30, 2005

The Top 10 CDs you should get by Any Means Necessary (in case anybody cares!)

Entertainment Weekly lets "IT List" actors, filmmakers etc. concoct their own music list in case anybody in bumblefuck USA gives a rat's ass about their pretentious picks. Noah Baumbach (The Squid and the Whale) was recently featured, as well as Sofia Coppola and Jason Lee. Since I'm on the celebrity Z-list, EW editors would probably laugh their asses off if I called asking to be featured.

EW: Who the hell are you? You're not famous.
WBB: Correct! I'm a cult figure in my own mind.

I'm not going to sit around and wait for the magazine to give me permission. Here are my picks, in all their glory.

1. Pink Floyd Animals
The most underrated album in rock n’ roll history. I’ve listened to it over a 1000 times. It puts me in a trance. I love the rippin' guitar solo in DOGS as well as the last 10 lines in that song, which I refer to as the "equivalent mantra" Is that scary?

2. Bob Dylan Live at Royal Albert Hall 1966
There are levels of "genius" and the word is thrown around too much these days. Dylan's uncompromising decision to electrify folk music was groundbreaking, and his genius is justified.

3. Grateful Dead Live 5/8/77
There is so much collaborative magic happening here that its almost incomprehensible. You'll want to shake your booty when Dancing in the Streets starts.

4. Led Zeppelin BBC Sessions
You know a band has sold their soul to the devil when playing "live" sounds better than any studio album.

5. Paul Simon Live Rhymin’
"The Boxer" and "Duncan" are elevated by a Zamfir-like pan flute. Not to be missed! Plus, Paul Simon has a great one-liner when someone in the audience says "Say a few words!" He responds, "Well,lets hope that we all continue to live". Cheers. It made me smile on a rainy day.

6. Bob Dylan Blood On the Tracks
A masterpiece! The pain caused from Dylan's divorce from Sara Lownes is successfully channeled into this stunning work of art. When an ex-girlfriend broke up with me, I tried to write a few songs hoping that I could turn my pain into art. It didn't work.

7. The Verve Urban Hymns
Just when you thought Prog Rock was dead, along came this album.

8. James Laid
Notice all the British bands on this list. I think I was British in a past life. Every song is amazing. "Poker face carved in stone/almost friends but all alone/Why do you hide?" Its part of the soundtrack to my life.

9. Dire Straits Communiqué
I greatly admire Mark Knopfler's unique guitar style. His riffs are timeless. I always imagine kicking ass in an old-style gunfight when I hear "Once Upon a Time in the West"

10. Mazzy Starr So Tonight I Might Not See
Dreamy and intoxicating. Hope Sandoval is a goddess. Her voice haunts my dreams. She's been my fantasy muse for years. Check out the track "Unreflected." I hope to use it in my 3rd feature.

Like the amplifier in Spinal Tap, this list goes to 11.

11. Fleetwood Mac Rumors
Romantic breakups and meltdowns really do create masterpieces.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Die! Rocky Die!

Sylvester Stallone announced that he will be getting back in the ring for Rocky 6. Rocky fans are really excited for this movie, but said they would only pay $10 to see Rocky die.

What's next?

Rocky 900----In the distant future, Rocky, now living in a nursing home suffering from dementia ingests 7000 milligrams of viagra. He starts punching everybody in the head with his rock hard cock, screaming "I am the Mustard Man" And thats only the beginning.

Which Hollywood executive is ready to greenlight this incredible pitch?

Friday, October 07, 2005

The "High Holidays" --Why am I the only Pot Smoker in my Family?

The "high holidays" are a time for spiritual reflection and asking the lord for forgiveness and repentence for all the name calling and back-stabbing you've done all year round. Yes, we all do it. How many times have you talked about your friends and family? Its a reaccuring theme in my life.

This year, I got to witness my father succumb to a fascinating meltdown. He started crying feverishly over my brother's boring in-laws and how much they are boring him to death. I was totally fascinated at how disturbed my father gets over the actions of other people. Why does he care so much? Why does it affect him emotionally?

Then he mentioned how sad he was over the death of Nipsey Russell. Next year, I need to convince him to smoke a joint on Rosh Hashanah. I think it would calm him down a bit.

Peace till the next adventure.